I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of …– Erma Bombeck
I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life
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I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life
I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair.
Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people’s children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.
I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there
There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.
I was terrible at straight items. When I wrote obituaries, my mother said the only thing I ever got them to do was die in
The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
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